Clay Adams Laboratory Counter: $50 (+ $27.17 p&p + $17.84 duty)
You know, Ted has wanted one of these for a long time, and so he decided to like take the plunge and pay more than, you know, he really wanted to for it.
Basically, it’s meant to be used for counting like blood-cell types or whatever, but Ted, you know, had a much better use in mind – a Verbal Filler Counter (VFC), sort of thing.
Most teenagers nowadays – and even people in their 20s – seem to, sort of, add like extra words when they’re like talking. They can’t seem to like say a sentence without adding like an extra word, or whatever, to it, kind of thing.
One way to like point this out is to like sit with them with the counter on the table, sort of thing. Then, whenever they kind of add one of these like extra words, a click is heard. They may like wonder what is going on, especially if there is like a slight sort of delay like between the speech impediment and the click.
If the English language corrupter asks like what the counter is for, they can be asked like to work it out for themselves, any like delay being gradually reduced to zero until they like twig. It can take a long time.
After this, a fine of 5p per incident can kind of be imposed so that like the cost of the counter can be defrayed, sort of thing.
Ted has relabelled the VFC so that the labels reflect the type of filler: L for “like”, YK for “you know”, KO for “kind of”, SO for “sort of”, OW for “or whatever”, and ER for “erm” or “um”. He may later add SOF for “should of”, but this is an example of like ignorance rather than a filler, or whatever.
What would the counts be if a teenager like read all this text aloud?