The Third Visit
During the first two visits Ted commented on the number of fat women he saw at the car boot sale. He did so because he just couldn’t believe how many there were and there couldn’t possibly be that many again.
This time there are more comments – not just because there were yet more flabby, fleshy fatties but because Ted now realises that either it is the modern norm or car boot sales attract fat women (because perhaps they have lower earning potential resulting in them looking for bargains). It could, of course, be that females who flaunt their flesh put on weight for some reason, or that something has happened to Ted’s eyes so that they distort certain people.
Anyway, Ted was once again sitting with his cup of tea when he noticed two tree-trunk thighs opposite him. Behind the owner of these was a woman whose dimensions were similar to that of Sandra or Tracey (‘The Fat Slags’) from the Viz magazine.
Ted is thinking about getting some special microprocessor-controlled spectacles which distort fat women so that they look like sylphs. Perhaps Google could help here.
Green Tub of K’Nex: £2
Ted saw this after a few minutes but decided to wait so that the asking price was not too high (if it was still there!). He wandered around and saw a full tub of K’Nex, and when he asked what the seller was asking for it, he received the response, “£20.” The man was clearly in cloud-cuckoo land.
After an hour or so, Ted returned to the green tub’s seller and said to the woman, “What are you asking for that?” whilst pointing to it.
“Would you say £3?” said the woman. “No,” said Ted, “I wouldn’t. How about two?”
“OK,” said the woman, and Ted handed over the dosh / moolah / spondulicks… or whatever you want to call it.
There wasn’t actually much in it, but the box alone was worth £2. The ubiquitous Lego pieces were discarded.