The Rats by James Herbert: 50p
Deluded Ted believes that this purchase will be worth a fortune in years to come, especially since the author died earlier this year.
One thing that Ted has learned is that if he gets drunk on a bottle of cheap gin, he mustn’t collapse in an empty old house that is running alive with giant razor-toothed rats…
When he got home, his wife gave him a look which said, “Oh God, what has he come home with now?” but after a few minutes she was wondering where it could be displayed for maximum effect. You see, Ted has taste.
When the button on his left hand is pressed (Shrek, that is – not Ted), recorded phrases from the film are played, usually of the donkey.
The seller wanted £3 but Ted managed to get it for £2.50. It was only when he got it home that he noticed a price tag which said, “£2.”
Gloopy Tubes: 50p
Ted just couldn’t resist this for some strange reason, and it was only 50p.
When it is turned upside-down, the gloop in the end tubes falls onto a disc which then turns. In the middle tube, the gloop just… gloops.
The uses for this are so numerous that they won’t be listed here.
Reel of Wire: £1.50
No doubt the seller believed that he had achieved an impossible sale (it had been in his basement for years), but Ted will actually use some of it. Exactly when is uncertain, but it will join his other numerous potentially-useful supplies.
Horrible Science Books: £1.50
The Horrible Science series is terrific. The theme is very light-hearted, but throughout there are so many interesting facts (for example, in a room with fat and thin people who have just been fed, if the remaining food is moved to a room next door, it’s the thin people who move to eat more – the fat people tend to stuff themselves only if the food is in front of them!).
It was only when Ted arrived home that he noticed that one of the books was missing, but it didn’t really matter.
The art is stunning, and there’s so much going on if you keep looking.
The pieces are thick, too. Do buy one of these.