•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales

    TYPES OF SELLERS

    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.

    THE LANGUAGE

    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.

    WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?

    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.

    WIVES

    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.

    HAGGLING

    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boot Sale – 8th September 2013


The Rats by James Herbert:  50p

The Rats by James HerbertTed has been looking out for this classic book for a couple of years. It’s not the original 1974 edition but a 1999 reprint.

Deluded Ted believes that this purchase will be worth a fortune in years to come, especially since the author died earlier this year.

One thing that Ted has learned is that if he gets drunk on a bottle of cheap gin, he mustn’t collapse in an empty old house that is running alive with giant razor-toothed rats…

Shrek:  £2.50

ShrekThis version of Shrek was so well-made that Ted just couldn’t resist it.

When he got home, his wife gave him a look which said, “Oh God, what has he come home with now?” but after a few minutes she was wondering where it could be displayed for maximum effect. You see, Ted has taste.

When the button on his left hand is pressed (Shrek, that is – not Ted), recorded phrases from the film are played, usually of the donkey.

The seller wanted £3 but Ted managed to get it for £2.50. It was only when he got it home that he noticed a price tag which said, “£2.”

Gloopy Tubes:  50p

Gloopy ThingWell what else would you call them?

Ted just couldn’t resist this for some strange reason, and it was only 50p.

When it is turned upside-down, the gloop in the end tubes falls onto a disc which then turns. In the middle tube, the gloop just… gloops.

The uses for this are so numerous that they won’t be listed here.

Reel of Wire:  £1.50

Reel of WireTed had only recently bought some of this, and this was a bargain, especially since he had beaten down the seller from £2.

No doubt the seller believed that he had achieved an impossible sale (it had been in his basement for years), but Ted will actually use some of it. Exactly when is uncertain, but it will join his other numerous potentially-useful supplies.

Horrible Science Books:  £1.50

Horrible Science BooksThe Horrible Science series is terrific. The theme is very light-hearted, but throughout there are so many interesting facts (for example, in a room with fat and thin people who have just been fed, if the remaining food is moved to a room next door, it’s the thin people who move to eat more – the fat people tend to stuff themselves only if the food is in front of them!).

It was only when Ted arrived home that he noticed that one of the books was missing, but it didn’t really matter.

Wasgij:  £1

WasgijThese puzzles are just brilliant. The picture isn’t what’s on the box, it’s what someone in the picture on the box is seeing.

The art is stunning, and there’s so much going on if you keep looking.

The pieces are thick, too. Do buy one of these.

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