•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales


    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.


    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.


    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.


    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.


    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boot Sale – 1st September 2013

Dangerous Book for Idiots:  50p

Dangerous Book for IdiotsThis was a fair price, so decent Ted didn’t haggle.

This book is everything that The Dangerous Book for Boys should have been (this misleadingly-titled book includes things like The Kings and Queens of England, Insects and Spiders, Sampling Shakespeare and other boring, boring, boring topics).

Chaz Nuffington-Twattt’s [sic] Dangerous Book for Idiots includes things like Walking on Red-Hot Coals, Lighting your Farts, Make a Dry-Ice Bomb, Fighting a Crocodile and Pulling Your Own Teeth.

Horrible Science Kits:  £2

Horrible Science KitsActually, the boy wanted 50p each for these, but kind-hearted Ted explained to him that the price was too low because they were high-quality items.

Ted also explained that he should try to actively sell his items instead of sitting and hoping – and do you know, the boy started to bring out other stuff and sell that too!

Ted made sure that the moolah ended up in the boy’s money box rather than his mother’s.

Japanese Callipers:  £5

Japanese CallipersTed saw these beautifully-made callipers and on asking the price was told £5. They were dirty and needed adjusting, and so Ted said, “WIll you take four?”

“No – they’re worth more that that,” responded the grumpy seller.

And they were, so Ted parted company with a £5 note.

When he got home, Ted Googled “Mototoyo”, the manufacturer, and found that this was indeed an expensive and high-quality item.

Mah Jong Set:  £3

Mah Jong Set“How much is the Mah Jong Set?” asked Ted, immediately realising that he had given away the fact that he knew what it was.

Simultaneously, the mother said “£5” and the daughter said “£3”. They looked at one another. The daughter said, “but…” as the mother shrugged her shoulders.

“£3 then,” said Ted, and the deal was done.

The mother explained that it had only been used once, and indeed it was complete and in top condition.

On walking away with this bargain, Ted realised that he had already got an antique set at home which has lain unused for 36 years…

Wooden Box:  £3

Wooden Box (Outside)Wooden Box (Inside)The guy wanted £3 for this and wouldn’t take less, and so Ted agreed because it was well-made.

It’s a pity about the Penfolds logo, motto and label on the front, but the box will prove as useful as Ted’s many other yet-to-be-used ones…

Wooden Letter Cubes:  50p

Wooden Letter CubesTed bought these from the same boy who had the Horrible Science kits.

They will come in really useful for… something…

Isn’t the hunter-gatherer instinct strong?


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