•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales

    TYPES OF SELLERS

    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.

    THE LANGUAGE

    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.

    WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?

    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.

    WIVES

    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.

    HAGGLING

    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boot Sale – 21st July 2013


Stuffed Tiger:  £3

Stuffed TigerIt’s not very often that a tiger of this quality is encountered – it must have been Ted’s lucky day!

It was displayed on the very first stall as Ted entered the car boot sale (why is it called ‘car boot’ when absolutely nobody sells from their boot, and the whole car, not just the boot, holds all their junk?).

“How much for the tiger?” asked Ted. “Three quid,” replied the man, who was with his wife. “Hmmm…,” said Ted, and walked on.

A minute or two later, Ted realised that he had been an idiot. Never again would he see such a magnificent beast. He rushed back and said, “OK, I’ll give you three quid for it,” and handed over the spondulicks.

All of Ted’s animals are working animals, and this felid will have the honoured duty of preventing one of his downstairs doors from banging shut when the window is open and the wind is blowing.

Two Roald Dahl Books:  25p each

Roald Dahl BooksTed is always on the lookout for Roald Dahl books, and these are a delight, Quentin Blake being in full form.

The first book comprises Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The Great Glass Elevator.

The second one is about two horrible people – Mr & Mrs Twit – who get their comeuppance from four badly-treated monkeys and a large bird. It’s a jolly good fun read.

 Big Blue Box of K’Nex:  £10

Big Blue Box of K'NexThis may seem expensive, but this is one of the largest K’Nex boxes. Moreover, it wasn’t full of wheels – which Ted has plenty of – and it was pretty full.

Ted pounced on this as the lady put it out, and she (quite rightly) wouldn’t drop the price so early on. Ted decided to grab the box rather than risk missing out on it, especially since there doesn’t seem to be much K’Nex on sale at the moment.

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