Blood, Bones and Body Bits: £1
However, upon opening it, Ted discovered that it contained packets of stuff which needed to be made up, and he could see that it would be quite messy. He therefore decided that it would be better played with at his grandson’s home, not his own.
Chiming Clock: £5
“Hmmm…,” muttered the potential purchaser, “I’ll ask Rodney what he thinks…,” and walked away.
Ted, who has been repairing clocks for many years, picked it up and turned the hands to see whether the chime and strike were working. It turned out to be fairly unusual, in that instead of having a Westminster chime, it had a Whittington chime and a St. Michaels one. The clock happily produced the latter when the hands were turned.
“How much for the clock?” asked Ted.
“£7,” said the seller.
“But you just said £5 to that chap!” responded Ted.
“Well, that was before I heard it working!” said the seller.
Ted laughed and offered £5 and it was accepted.
Victory Geographical Jigsaw Puzzles: £1 each
One puzzle was completed in its box, but the other, although in an identical box, was actually somewhat larger, and so Ted could only hope that it was complete.
Unfortunately, one of the pieces (to the right of Poland) had been chewed by a baby, or perhaps a dog, but there were no missing pieces.
Shortly after buying these puzzles, Ted saw someone at another stall looking at a very old and ragged carpet which was about 3 feet by 4 feet. Running from an edge towards the centre was a 15-inch tear.
“All you’ve gotta do,” said the seller to the looker, “is stick a bit of carpet tape under the tear, or instead of that, put a bookcase over it…”
Ted tittered as he walked away.
Wooden Jigsaw of England and Wales: £1
This came from the same seller as above. The puzzle was in an old chocolate tin, and Ted took this to mean that there were missing pieces; after all, if the owner couldn’t look after the box, what chance was there of looking after all the pieces?
It’s a lovely puzzle which has been cut by hand from 3/16″ plywood. No doubt you are wondering how Ted knows that it was cut by hand. Well, one of the pieces doesn’t quite fit, and the only explanation is that it is from another supposedly identical puzzle.
Ted said to the girl, “3 goes is only 60p, but you’re saying 3 goes for £1. Did you mean this?”
“Yes,” she said, and that was that.
A little time later, Ted noticed that the sign had ‘£1′ crossed out and ’50p’ on it instead.
“Ah!” said Ted, “I see you’ve changed it!”
The mother replied, “I didn’t realise what she was doing! Believe it or not, though, someone actually paid £1 for three goes!”