•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales

    TYPES OF SELLERS

    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.

    THE LANGUAGE

    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.

    WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?

    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.

    WIVES

    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.

    HAGGLING

    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

  • Recent Acquisitions

  • Archives

  • Visitors

    • 65,978

Car Boot Sale – 26th May 2013


Box of 20 Jigsaw Puzzles:  £1

Box of 20 Jigsaw PuzzlesTed’s wife had only a couple of days earlier said that she wanted some 100-piece jigsaw puzzles for her grandson, and here they were! Twenty of them in one box!

The man wanted £1.50 for them, but Ted used his well-rehearsed armoury of facial expressions, including looks of horror and amazement, to knock him down to £1. That’s just 5p per puzzle, or .05p per not-very-well-cut thin piece.

Solar System Floor Puzzle:  £1

Solar System Floor PuzzleThis was bought from the same seller as the box of 20 jigsaw puzzles, and Ted attempted to pre-empt the price by offering 50p. The man explained that it was well worth £1, and actually it was, and so Ted coughed up having been assured that it was complete. It was.

Having bought this fine puzzle, Ted noticed, on an adjacent stall, two long furry things.

“What on earth are they?” queried Ted.

“Reindeer antlers for attaching to the side of your car,” was the response, implying that Ted must be mentally retarded. He felt such a fool – after all, they’re all over the place, aren’t they?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: