•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales

    TYPES OF SELLERS

    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.

    THE LANGUAGE

    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.

    WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?

    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.

    WIVES

    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.

    HAGGLING

    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boot Sale – 22nd July 2012


Large Brass Money Box:  £10

Brass Money BoxAfter weeks of mainly rained-off car boot sales, Ted trudged his 3½ miles to the site to find that it was already huge by 7am.

And then he spotted Napoleon.

“What are you asking for the pig?” asked Ted.

“I think he wants £20,” the seller responded, the ‘he’ remaining a mystery because the only people there were the lady and her granddaughter.

Ted gave his well-practised look of horror and said, “Oh – I’ll leave it for someone else, thank you,” and walked away.

After ten yards or so, Ted applied The Rule: say to yourself, “If I don’t buy it, will I regret it if I go back and find that it has been sold?”  If the answer is Yes, buy it.

Ted applied The Rule and wandered back to the stall.

“What’s your best price for the pig?” asked Ted.

“Oh, £10, I suppose,” said the grandmother resignedly.

Ted handed over his money, having been prepared to pay £15 for this magnificent specimen (which measures 17″ from the tip of his nose to the end of his curly tail, and weighs over 5lbs).

The only problem is that it is an LSD money box, and £1 and £2 coins are too fat for the slot…

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