•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales

    TYPES OF SELLERS

    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.

    THE LANGUAGE

    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.

    WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?

    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.

    WIVES

    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.

    HAGGLING

    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boot Sale – 13th May 2012


James Herbert Novels:  £1

James Herbert NovelsYes – three novels in one book for just £1!

Ted has recently read The Fog, and so he’ll pass that on and put this book in its place.

Including the Foreword, this magnificent volume (which was published in 1993) has 600 pages, representing a price of only .1666667p per horror-filled page.

What a pity that the binding is cheaply stuck and the pages are yellowing and it’s a bit grubby…

Fridge Magnets:  50p

Fridge MagnetsWhat a bargain – Ted was prepared to pay £1 for these Early Learning Centre letters!

Having recently given away a complete upper-case alphabet for a friend’s toddler, Ted took the opportunity to replenish his stock.

He will now still be able to make ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’, ‘pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis’ and ‘floccinaucinihilipilification’ all at the same time.

Graph Paper:  £3

A4 Graph PaperA whole ream of A4 graph paper for £1.50! In fact, more than an old-fashioned ream (which was 20 quires, i.e. 480 sheets).

And another half-ream of A3 squared paper for another £1.50!

Ted asked how much the A4 paper was and the seller said, “Two quid.”

A3 Squared PaperTed walked on because it was too early in the day to haggle, and the seller said, “Well, how much did you expect to pay?”

“A pound,” said Ted.

“How about £1.50?” said the seller, “or both of these for £3?”

“OK,” said Ted, and the deal was struck.

It can’t be overemphasised how useful this type of paper is. Ted will store it with the other graph paper he acquired over 40 years ago.

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