•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales


    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.


    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.


    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.


    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.


    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boot Sale – 26th June 2011

Box of 36 Line-creation Implements:  £1

Yes. just £1 for thirty-six lengths of wood, each with a hexagonal cross-section and a cylindrical column of graphite inserted lengthwise through its centre. When the implement has been sharpened by using a dedicated device for such purposes, a dark line will appear when the point comes into contact with material made in thin sheets as an aqueous deposit from linen rags, esparto, wood pulp, or other form of cellulose. Moreover, attached by a corrugated ring to the end of each of the implements is a cylindrical piece of elastic substance which has been constructed from the inspissated juice of various tropical plants, for the purpose of erasing a previously created line by applying the substance, with friction, in a zigzag or other movement over the said line.

Shortly after Ted made this amazing purchase, he noticed the Asda label on the box, and on Googling this item he discovered that they currently sell for £1, and a few years ago actually sold for just 25p. Rats.

Three Tubs of Fridge Magnets:  £2

This was actually two separate purchases. The tubs on the left were 50p each, and the one on the right was £1.

Ted will add these letters, digits and shapes to his others, so that he will now be able to create ‘desiccated’, ‘syzygy’, ‘eleemosynary’, ‘chlorobenzylidenemalononitrile’, ‘floccinaucinihilipilification’ and ‘honorificabilitudinitatibus’ simultaneously.


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