•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales

    TYPES OF SELLERS

    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.

    THE LANGUAGE

    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.

    WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?

    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.

    WIVES

    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.

    HAGGLING

    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boot Sale – 1st May 2011


Brabantia Cash Box:  £2

Yes, Ted has bought yet another beautiful, well-made, solid, metal, high-quality cash box which is in excellent condition, and it has actually got a key. What is more, it has got the plastic tray inside, too! What a bargain!

Ted will be able to use it to hold the coins he needs to take to the next car boot sale. For security, he will be able to use one of his other cash boxes to hold the key to another cash box which will hold the key to this one – all he has to do is remember where the key is.

Old Framed Print:  50p

Ted picked up this beautiful old print and looked at it. “50p,” said the chap (who Ted knew). He explained that he was emptying some garages and wanted to get rid of everything.

The print had come from a house clearance, and the frame and back were very well made, albeit rather the worse for wear – but there was no woodworm.

Ted wanted to hang it on the stairway, but his wife said that the colours weren’t right (she understands these things), so Ted has hung it in his study.

It is possible, thinks deluded Ted, that it will be worth millions in years to come.

Box of Fridge Magnets:  £2

Ted just took a fancy to these – it must have been the bright colours.

He has sorted through them and found over 400 relatively small letters, digits and shapes all of the same style, and a further couple of dozen extra large ones. These large ones have been passed on to a charity shop, and the rest have joined some similar ones, and so Ted now has over 600 letters, digits and shapes all of the same style.

He will now be able to make words like dermatoglyphics, honorificabilitudinitatibus and pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

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