Ted is kicking himself. Every year the car boot sale starts at Easter – but this year it started earlier and Ted didn’t know! It was just by chance that he heard that someone was there in March! Quelle horreur!
However, Ted, being an optimist, realised that this was therefore a BONUS car boot sale week.
It was the week of the Polar Bear. Yes, a 5ft polar bear. Brand new. Wrapped in plastic. Magnificent. £50. But Ted would have had nowhere to put it. And his wife would have walked out. So he resisted. Ted resisted. Ted actually resisted a bargain.
Toy Fruit Machine: £1
If the player inserts a coin for each go, all the coins inserted get returned when three bars appear. What fun! Not quite like the real thing – after all, what fruit machine gives a return of 100%?
Red Box of K’Nex: £4
Yes, Ted has succumbed to yet another box of K’Nex so that he has enough pieces to build his fruit machine. Some people might think that Ted already has enough resources, but what if another invention gobbles up lots of pieces? What then, eh? He’d kick himself, wouldn’t he?
Nursery Box: £1
He asked the young lady how much it was and she shrugged her shoulders and said, questioningly, “£2?” Big mistake. If the seller is not assertive and doesn’t state clearly and definitely how much they want for the item, then they will lose out. All the body language here said, “I don’t know how much I want for this, so I’ll say £2 and see what happens.” Ted, of course, gave his well-practised look of horror and offered £1, confident that it would be accepted. It was.
How to Avoid a Wombat’s Bum: 50p
What an amazing title for a book! Ted was intrigued and wanted to know what it was all about. Well, it’s full of interesting facts accumulated by the author over a twenty-year period, partly from the internet. As it says on the front cover, “Don’t chase it! Wombats can run up to 25 miles per hour and stop dead in half a stride. They kill their predators this way – the predator runs into the wombat’s bum-bone and smashes its face.” This isn’t quite in line with the Wikipedia entry, but they do appear to use their rump to see off predators.
Electric Bell: £2.50
This was a hard haggle. The guy wanted £3, and Ted offered a pound less. The trouble was that the seller knew that this was a real old-fashioned bell, made of real wood, not plastic, and it had a certain charm about it (and no woodworm). Ted offered £2 and settled on £2.50. It will look really nice when it has been cleaned up and adjusted.
The Dangerous Book for Boys: 50p
But what a misleading title! Ted was expecting to find out how to give electric shocks to people, and how to make explosives, and how to make stink bombs. But no – most of the contents are boring things like The Laws of Football, Famous Battles, and Charting the Universe. What a disappointment.