•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales


    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.


    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.


    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.


    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.


    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boor Sale – 26th September 2010

K’Nex Boxed Set: 50p

Whoa! Didn’t Ted say a couple of weeks ago that he wasn’t going to buy any more K’Nex? Eh? Isn’t that what he said? Didn’t he say that he’d got enough? Well, Ted is weak. He lost his resolve shortly afterwards. When he saw this boxed set for just 50p, he succumbed. So there.

A Pair of Walkie Talkies: £1

No, this is not a mistake. These superb devices, which were manufactured in a country which is an anagram of CHAIN, only cost £1 and they came complete with batteries. They are named Ben. It was explained to Ted that any child under the age of ten would appreciate the significance of this.

Two Solar-Powered LED Torches: £2

Yes, just £2 for both of them. They’re BNIB (brand new in box). The black one even has a floating compass in its base. They are each powered by a monocrystalline panel and after 6 hours in bright sunlight they will last up to 8 hours. They were manufactured in a country which is an anagram of A CHIN.

STOP PRESS Ted has found that the switches on them are dodgy, and this is probably why they were being sold at a car boot sale…

Very Sharp Vegetable Peeler: 50p

Ted was told to be very careful when using this owing to its extreme sharpness; the seller had had an unfortunate experience with one and showed Ted the scar. Ted immediately realised why it was this colour and has kindly given it to his wife as a present.


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