•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales

    TYPES OF SELLERS

    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.

    THE LANGUAGE

    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.

    WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?

    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.

    WIVES

    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.

    HAGGLING

    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boot Sale – 12th September 2010


Tub of K’Nex:  £4

Once again Ted has weakened and acquired yet another box of K’Nex. This one was not particularly full, but it is quite difficult to find the kind of the tub it was in. Ted decided that this would be the last box of K’Nex he would buy. He has enough. He doesn’t need any more. He needs to control himself. That’s it. The end.

Small Box of K’Nex:  £1

Ted considered that a small box like this doesn’t take up much room, and so it doesn’t really count as a K’Nex purchase. In the scale of things it wasn’t really worth £1, but Ted thought it mean to offer less.

Oven Gloves:  50p

Having nearly burned himself on numerous occasions recently, Ted decided to take the plunge and replace his holey pair. Unfortunately, this pair is advertising Guernsey and Jersey, but needs must, as they say.

‘Introducing Chaos’ Book:  50p

This fascinating book must represent the bargain of the year. Written by the well-known Ziauddin Sardar and Iwona Abrams, it covers the history of chaos theory and includes many black and white drawings.

‘Bristol Story’ Book:  20p

It says on the back of the book that the book must not be sold before the year 2015, after which time it will be a rare and very valuable collector’s item, worth as much as a small house. It also says that anybody who does sell it will be cursed:

Eyes of rats and brains of snakes

An ancient curse I hereby makes

Whoever this book sells and not lends

Will smell funny and have no friends.

The book was written by Eugene Byrne, and the pictures were done by Simon Gurr – and very nice they are too.

Green Box of K’Nex:  £1

What a bargain! The box was FULL and had some large black gears in it – and Ted didn’t have any of these. Although he has said that he won’t buy any more K’Nex, how could he refuse this bargain, being a Libran?

Antique Pocket Balance:  £1

Another bargain! Ted believes this to be worth considerably more than the £1 he paid – and he even beat down the seller, who wanted £1.50!

It weighs up to 25lbs, ideal for… erm… weighing boxes of K’Nex.

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