•             Welcome

    This is the personal site of Ted the serendipitist, who has interpreted the Wikipedia definition of 'Hunter-Gatherer' (see that page) as meaning someone who visits junk shops, charity shops, antique shops and hebdomadal matutinal car boot sales in order to acquire low-value objects, which no-one in their right minds would want, at low cost (well, apart from antique shops, that is).

    Deluded Ted believes that at some time in the future, some of his acquisitions will be highly desirable and worth a small fortune.

  •       Car Boot Sales

    TYPES OF SELLERS

    There are two types of sellers at car boot sales, viz traders and ordinary people. Ted tends to avoid traders owing to the high chance of inadvertently purchasing inferior goods at high prices. However, Ted did recently manage to acquire a large number of pairs of everlasting socks at only 50p per pair.

    THE LANGUAGE

    Buyers need to understand traders' language; on asked how much the French carriage clock is, the response might be "toonarf." This would be interpreted as £250. There is no first aid on site for buyers who faint.

    WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?

    Ted has discovered that, 99% of the time, a strange-looking object is either a massager, a fitness device or a CD rack.

    WIVES

    When a husband and wife team are selling their unwanted items at a car boot stall, it is an interesting fact that, whatever position the husband holds at work, be it dogsbody, manager or chief executive, it is the wife who wears the trousers. If someone asks the wife how much the pretty mug is, she'll say, for example, "50p." However, if the husband were asked, he would turn to his wife and say, "Er... how much for this, dear?" - even if it belongs to him.

    At other times the wife can be heard saying, "No, not there - put it on the ground here...", "You need to turn those round", "You can empty this box now..." or "You can pour me a cup of tea now - you did pack the flask as I asked, didn't you?"

    The simple fact is that women are more suited to this activity than the average man is, and so they naturally take control.

    HAGGLING

    In the early days, Ted's wife would suddenly say, "Ooh, look! They've GOT one!!!" This somewhat weakened Ted's position when he started to haggle. A more appropriate method for achieving a minimal sale price is to pick up the piece unenthusiastically and give a look of horror on hearing the price.

    Some sellers dither when asked the price of an item. At the first sign of this, the buyer should offer a very low price; there is a high chance that it will be accepted, especially if a wife is not in sight.

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Car Boot Sale – 25th July 2010


K’Nex ‘All-Star Bike’ Set:  £2.50

A complete, brand new, unused, pristine, unopened set of K’Nex which Ted’s wife’s 4-year-old grandson will be allowed to use when he is older.

K’Nex ‘Cool Cruisers’ Set:  £2.50

A used K’Nex set which, again, Ted’s wife’s grandson will be allowed to use when he is older.

The Best Adult Joke Book:  50p

Finally, Ted has come across a joke book where all the jokes are good.  Yes, all the classic jokes are here, as well as many others.

The Kingfisher Treasury of Funny Stories:  20p

As Ted was wandering among the treasures on sale, he heard a little boy say, “Books only 20p.”

Now when Ted hears a youngster trying to sell his wares, he feels obliged to support such enterprise. All so often, the sellers are standing around looking glum, with apparently no interest at all in trying to sell their junk. But every now and then, a wee lad (or girl) attempts to bring their worldly goods to the attention of potential buyers.

So Ted turned and looked at the boy. “Books 20p,” he said again, looking hopeful.

Ted looked at his meagre collection and picked one up. While he was deciding whether or not to buy another, the boy said, “That’s 20p, please,” as though Ted might avoid payment. Obviously, this boy had a bright future in business.

After Ted had paid, the boy ran to his mother and shouted, “Yes!”

Here’s the book:

Mini Wasgij Puzzle:  50p

Have you ever done one of these? If you haven’t, do so – they are quite simply brilliant. The picture on the box isn’t the picture on the puzzle. The picture on the puzzle is what one of the characters in the picture on the box is seeing! And the artwork is absolutely first-class, being done by a brilliant cartoonist.

The normal puzzle has 1,008 pieces, but this is a mini one.

This is a shrink-wrapped puzzle, and so it has never been done; moreover, it is guaranteed to be complete. Yes, all 54 pieces are in the box.

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